This piece by Mercy Survivor Britt speaks soberly on the dangers of unqualified staff and harmful treatment of issues at Mercy Ministries.  This piece was originally published on her personal blog and can be viewed at Hits & Near Misses.

So I’ve just been released from nearly two weeks in confinement once again. Two weeks of sitting waiting for god knows what. Doing what they say, swallowing what they say and controlling myself when they say.

I was compliant. I needed to be. To get what I wanted. As always.

The one thought that was constantly plaguing my head (amongst the millions of others racing through) was that where I was is actually a proper facility. Every time I go to get my meds- morning, lunch and bedtime- I remembered Mercy days. The Bible College students handing them out willy nilly, asking coldly why would I need this stupid pill, as I seemed like I was doing fine? now, after years of hospitalisations do I realise you actually need actual qualifications to distribute medications. You give out the wrong one or the wrong dose, bam, you or the girl is gone.

If a girl has a psychotic episode, you do not treat it with Godly Beliefs or prayer. You call a damn ambulance if you’re not qualified to deal with that shit and have the appropriate facilities on site. Same goes with if a girl is violent or is seriously self harming. You don’t lock them in a room on their own and wait for their mood to subside, whilst moving the rest of the girls to the other end of the house. Those episodes traumatise everyone involved.

You’re messing with people’s lives here.

And that’s exactly what MM were doing. The whole time.

I know we, the girls, go on about it a lot. But I guess it’s part of letting people know the truth.

Little things happen in our lives today and they spark memories of the 6 to 12 or more months we spent in the program.

We then begin to challenge either what’s happening in the present moment or challenge our past.

I know what I’m going to challenge. And I now know what I’m going to believe.

Written By Brittany