This piece by Mercy Survivor Britt was originally published on her personal blog, Hits and Near Misses, and can be viewed here.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, or you’ve just read the last few entries, you might’ve noticed that there has always been a angsty unloved girl feel to it.
There is a reason to this.
That reason I am not prepared to discuss right now, but I will share something quite appropriate to the topic.
So I randomly picked up my Mercy Ministries counselling folder tonight (as you do) and it immediately fell open to the chapter of Soul Ties.
“What are Soul Ties?” you ask.
Soul ties are invisible ties that bind us to another person. They are emotional, spiritual and sexual connections with another person that are perverted, dysfunctional and/or immoral.
If we have a soul tie with someone, we may feel stuck in the relationship, or if we have tried to leave the relationship we are always drawn back to that person for some reason. Also, we may feel restrained or very dependent on that person, their choices, their actions.
Now when I was at Mercy Ministries, I thought this was a load of shit. I had never been attached to someone so deeply. I hated people, I didn’t want anything to do with them. In all honestly I actually made up people to pray for when we did this chapter as I felt I didn’t have “enough”.
These days its completely different.
Although i’m not as spiritual as I was back then, I have still tried to pray a certain soul tie away. But got nothing.
I still ache for them, cry for them and constantly want their approval.
So now i’m confused. If this tie had been relevant back in my Mercy days, would it have ceased? Do I not have enough faith now? Or is this tie just too strong?
Or maybe I just don’t want to let go.