This piece by Mercy Survivor Chelsea was originally published on her personal blog, The Pink Propaganda, and can be viewed here.
I was sort of thinking if I wanted to get 1 or 2 things across in this blog what would they be?
1. Your story is not for sale.
Someday you’ll do something right and you’ll please Mercy Ministries and it may be something that you didn’t even know you could do right. Someday you’ll get married and have a baby and they’ll want your story. And someday you may travel to Africa and do missions work and they’ll want your story. And someday you may write a book, be in a magazine, get your doctorate, save a life on a highway and they’ll want some of your fame. They’ll expect you to mention them every step of the way. That you owe them. They’ll remind you of this, but don’t listen. Your story is not for sale. Don’t let them cheapen you like that. Don’t let them exploit you. That is your story. You built it. Those scars do not need pictures taken of for the front of their books. Your look of anorexia, the before and after pictures are not for sale. If you don’t want to share your testimony publicly, then you have a right to privacy. You don’t owe them. You never have and you never will. Please remember this.
2. Get help.
When I came back from Mercy Ministries I refused help. I was taught that if I needed help that it was my fault, that I had done something wrong. That if Mercy Ministries didn’t work for me I had sinned in some way or let some spirit take over me. I didn’t get help. I let it get so bad that I nearly killed myself in an overdose. Do not let it get that bad, while telling yourself the whole time that you’re “fine”. You are not fine and you are not to blame. Mental illnesses are not spirits and they do not disappear and you NEED help. I was not over my eating disorder after Mercy, but two years later I jumped up on the horse and it’s been four years since I acted on it. Mercy Ministries was not your last hope. It was not my last hope. And don’t believe that for a second. If you need anti depressants, get them. If you need mood stabilizers, get them. Get whatever you need. You deserve it.
Please feel free to message me. I am open to anyone who is on any side of Mercy Ministries. What I am saying is as long as you respect me, it doesn’t matter to me if you like Mercy Ministries or not.