This piece by Mercy Survivor Alicia was originally published on her blog “Beyond Silence: My Mercy Journey” and can be viewed here.
I was once a Mercy girl. I never felt the courage until recently to open up and share my story. I was going to write it out for a friend but then realized I need to share it in bits and pieces and maybe even consider writing a book with other girls who have spoken out about Mercy Ministries. It now known as Mercy Multiplied.
I made a choice to go Mercy Multiplied in the fall of 2010. I had to undergo more testing to go their program than any treatment center I had ever been to had asked me for. Some of the testing my doctors thought was too detailed. They wanted more than my insurance would pay for. While it’s a free program, many girls don’t weigh out the costs of the testing, sharing very personal details about ones life, and many other things that went with the choice to go to Mercy Multiplied for each girl.
Many people think Mercy Multiplied is ideal because they state their free of charge, but nothing in life is free of charge. It always involves giving up something to stick your neck out there and start something new. I didn’t have much to give up, but I knew I had to keep my apartment, because if Mercy Multiplied didn’t work out, I’d have nothing left to look forward to. I was desperate like many girls. I wanted the help.
I know we can’t turn back time, part of me wishes sometimes that I would have known what I know about Mercy Multiplied then that I did now. I don’t say my experience at Mercy Multiplied was a mistake because I know it served a purpose to my life story. I feel saddened by the fact, that they tried to silence me and I did live in silence until almost recently about my journey there.
Many girls in the home were they couldn’t share about specific details about stuff they experienced while at Mercy Multiplied. Upon leaving, their residential home in St Louis, I quickly found that many people tried to silence me from telling my story. By allowing myself to be silent, I couldn’t help anyone that was going to go there or anyone who was still there.
I was at Mercy Multiplied from November 9th 2010 to March 8th 2011. This blog is going to provide detail of some of the hardest few months of my life journey. This is to warn people there might be some triggering stories but this is my journey and it’s up to me to take God’s courage and share what happened to me. My hope is that it can help someone else.